The Personal and The Pointless

You know what I really love? A nice looong conversation about nothing. In other words, a lot about me, some about you, and in between stuff about the world in general. Nothing too controversial; just The Personal and The Pointless.

I just spent a nice little while chewing my busy friend Sarah’s ear off on the phone. I’m glad. Busy people don’t get their ears chewed off often enough.

I was confessing to Sarah how it *still* bothers me to get a Feedreader update of Steve’s blog with a picture of Tom and his post-me girlfriend Lucy on it. Luckily… luckily, the picture is so obscure you can’t see anything but still. There is that CRUNCH in my stomach as soon as I even see his name. “Is this gonna be about the T word?” Sarah asked.

I’ve taken every measure I can to eliminate Tom from my very existence; something I’ve never done with anyone before. I blocked him on messenger, I blocked his email, I deleted all links and references to his blog… I even (regretfully) stopped reading a blog he followed me onto. Now I’ve (unfortunately) deleted Steve’s blog from my Feedreader. I feel immature and unright. This is silly. And it makes it really obvious to me that I am a tiny little person who can’t even get over a stupid breakup.

Yet Sarah says she’s still bothered by a breakup that happened two years ago. And she named some other people who still get upset over their over-6-months-ago breakups. “Really?” I asked incredulously. It made me feel sad –for them- but reassured –for me- to know that I’m not the only loony who gets punched in the stomach every time I am faced with the fact that this person continues to exist.

I KNOW, it’s silly. Immature. Unbecoming. What can I do? I guess I got over other stuff, eventually, therefore I’ll get over this. It’s miserable to be soft, but if you want me to be honest and not too modest, I’m proud that I can be soft these days. Hardcore never did me any favours.
****
Si algo hecho de menos de vivir momentos apestosos como éste en Chile es ese vuelco medio sentimental, medio “significativo”, que se le dan a este tipo de cosas allá. Cierto, muchas veces preferí dejar eso de lado e ir al grano sin tanto tralalá, pero a veces, bueno, me gustaría poder tener la oportunidad de rechazar los mimos. Qué gusto me daría, por ejemplo, darle tres mil vueltas con las expertas: Vero, Bárbara, Tere, y ultra maestra de la conversación Pointless, Mariana Ibáñez. Jeje.