Domesticated

I certainly didn't get it from my mother. Her intellectual and spiritual interests are very far from the mundane reality of keeping house. But ever since I was a little girl, I found some sort of comfort in domestic activity. I liked to do the family laundry, sorting clothes by colour AND fabric, figuring out which water temperature would work best. I liked learning how to iron; what part of the shirt gets pressed first so that the end result is as creaseless as possible. I loved to cook, spaghetti and experimental chocolate cakes. If I had been born in another time, I would have been the perfect domestic goddess.

Even though my mother -and principal female role model- was a strong force pushing for economic and intellectual independence, I really don't think my own contrary interests were meant as a backlash. It was just the way you'd rather your room be pink instead of white. Just a matter of preference.

I realize there's a lot of stigma attached to domestic affairs. You're not *supposed* to like it, it's *supposed* to be enslaving. Well, I watched one woman feel authentically enslaved by it, and for some reason it didn't affect me like that. Like I said, there seemed to be some comfort in it. There still is.

I read somewhere that when people start discreetly dusting crumbs from the table, it's a sign that they aren't too happy with the conversation and want to lead it elsewhere. I believe that my affair with the domestic is related to this somehow. Just like Campbell Scott's character in the movie Singles, when he's broken up and trying to pretend he's ok, he says "work is the only thing I have completely control over". Nevermind that the walls of his cubicle come crashing down 2 seconds later. It's the thought that counts.

Some people go to the gym; I go to the supermarket. Forget the results. As long as I can carry a load of laundry, clutch a J-cloth, or stand in front of the oven long enough to cook a risotto, I have some sort of authority over my own life, I can *make* things ok. And I make a fine risotto too.