something i wrote on the plane

You know, I wasn’t really angry at all those things I wrote about last time. I dislike them, but that was not my true state of mind at the time. No, I was heartbroken and upset by something else: an unsolved dilemma of human relationships.

This I’ve bumped into before, and as my mother says, if you don’t resolve it now, it will only continue to drag by your side until you do. This is: how to disagree.

When I was upset at my old friend A for accusing me of lying about my cluelessness, I decided that our friendship was more important to me than insisting on making myself believed. But this was a small issue, and more importantly, a very personal one.

Is ideology personal?

“It had to be this way.”

“But the price was too high, I can’t accept it.”

“The price was low, the alternate outcome would have been devastating.”

“How can we know what would have happened?”

“Well, we can’t.”

This seems to be the only point to agree on.

The dilemma I have is this: as a self-defined liberal I want everyone to live their life independently, with their own free thoughts and opinions. This means I also want people who are radically opposed to my liberalism to have the exact same rights. This means that I want people to disagree with me, because their right to do so ensures my right to the same. But I can’t help feeling hurt when I see that, while we all seem to want a peaceful existence, some of us want to quash … no, some of us believe we have no alternative BUT to quash others freedoms in order to guarantee our own. This is the central point of my heartbreak, and I hope I am wrong about it, but I don’t think I am. Some of us prefer open meadows and others feel they have no choice but gated communities.

Postscript: I don’t think any of us are right. I don’t believe there is such a measurable thing as being right. Only ideas and opinions and routes, but no correct one and no pot of gold at the end for anyone, by the way.